12.13.2008

MY TRUTH

OKAY, SO FOR ONCE ALEXIS HAS IT RIGHT.

(PS: ALEXIS? LOOKS MORE LIKE ABUICK!)

THE THING I'VE GOT GOIN' TODAY (AND EVERYDAY) IS TOTAL MYSPACE CELEB OBSESSIONS.

COZ, YOU KNOW, LIKE, FUNK REAL CELEBRITIES! THEY'RE SO FREAKING ATTAINABLE NOW. ZAC EFRON (DREAMBOAT TIL HE GOT TOO BUFF AND HIS BALLS PROLLY SHRANK UP) IS WEARING BRIAN LICHTENBERG TANKS, JOE JONAS (WIDE HIPS, LITTLE TEETH) HAS 8 MILLION SHIRTLESS WEBCAM PICS ONLINE, MILEY CYRUS'S BOYFRIEND (BTW YOUTUBING NASHVILLE STAR IS PRETTY MUCH LIKE THROWING ICE COLD WATER ON YOUR BONER) SUDDENLY GOT RELATABLE COZ HE'S A TOTAL PED LIKE MOI, THAT GUY FROM TWILIGHT RIDES THE BUS WITH ME EVERY MORNING....

BUT! JUST LOG ONTO MYSPACE, WHERE CELEBRITY STILL MEANS SOMETHING! I MEAN, REALLY, YOU WANNA KNOW UNATTAINABLE: LET'S TALK UNSTOPPABLE. LET'S TALK JOSHUA CRAZE. LET'S TALK FREAKING JOSEPH KOUTURE. THESE ARE TOTALLY THE IT BOYS OF OUR, LIKE, GENERATION (UH, LET'S SAY THE UNDER 50 CROWD.)

TRUST, I HAVE A LOT MORE TO SAY ON THIS SUBJECT. BUT AS ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME CAN ATTEST, NOTHING GIVES ME A HUGER BONE THAN THINKING ABOUT A FRESHLY SHAVED CROTCH DANGLING JUST OUT OF MY REACH.

AKA GOTTA GO JERK ONE NOW, BABIEZ.

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