2.01.2009

METAMORPHOSIS

MY BF AND I TOTALLY DEFLOWERED A TWENTY-SOMETHING VIRGIN LAST NITE. HE MADE ME REALLY RUE FOR THE DAYS WHEN I COULD TAKE TWO RANDOM DICKS LIKE A PRO, NOT CRY, NOT BLOOD, AND JUST SAY, "IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE TO POOP." IT WAS PRETTY CUTE.

IT ALL MADE ME THINK ABOUT WEIRD NEW BEGINNINGS, GROWING UP, TRANSFORMATIONS. LIKE, REMEMBER SIMON CAMDEN FROM 7TH HEAVEN? HE WAS SUCH AN OBNOXIOUS LITTLE GOODY-TWO-SHOES CRYING BECAUSE HIS 9-YEAR-OLD GIRLFRIEND HAD CISTIC FIBROSIS, BASICALLY A FAGGY LITTLE BITCH, AND THEN SUDDENLY, BOING, IT WAS HIS SENIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL AND HE WAS POPPIN' OUT OF HIS SHIRT, HE HIT A PEDESTRIAN WITH HIS CAR, SKIPPED TOWN AND DELIVERED HIS PLATONIC FRIEND'S BABY IN A PHONE BOOTH AND DROPPED IT OFF AT THE E.R.! HELLO, AND WELCOME TO MY FIRST (ONLY) YEAR OF COLLEGE! SO HOT.
TO HONOR LOST INNOCENCE I MADE THIS MIX, LIKE, MOSTLY INSPIRED BY WEIRD 3WAYS, HOT 3WAYS, FIGHTING WITH MY DUDE, MAKE-UP HAND-JOBS, TMZ, SIMON CAMDEN, HOME ALONE, JENNIFER HUDSON, PRETENDING TO BE ON A PACIFIC ISLE, PINA CALADAS, AND THE CONVERSATION I'M HAVING WITH MY CRYING MOM RIGHT NOW, "HAS THERE EVER BEEN A TIME WHEN A MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY HAS GAUGED THEIR BEHAVIOR BASED ON MY FEELINGS? NO!"

BLACK HONEYMOON MIX
MARIANNE FAITHFULL "BROKEN ENGLISH"
PRINCE "SIGNA THE TIMEZ"
GINA X "VENDOR'S BOX"
BRANDY "I WANNABE DOWN"
LIZA MINELLI "TWIST IN MY SOBRIETY"
GRACE JONES "SHE'S LOST CONTROL"
SHRIEKBACK "MADNESS INTO METHOD"
CRISTINA "DEB BEHIND BARS"
KIM WILDE "TUNING IN TURNING ON"
CULTURE CLUB FEAT. CAPT. CRUCIAL "MURDER RAP TRAP"
LIO "U GO 2 MY HEAD"

IN THE SAME VEIN, MY FRIEND TAMARYN JUST PREMIERED HER NEW VIDEO, "THE UNKNOWN." SHE'S A GOTH VISIONARY CHILD AND LIVES DOWN THE STREET IN A MANSION WITH JASMINE BLOOMING OUTSIDE YEAR-ROUND.


TAMARYN The Unknown from a.l. brown on Vimeo.

FREAK ME OUT!

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