3.08.2009

THREE ACTS, NO INTERMISSION

SUNDAY: U BITCH, U.

ALL I HAVE TO SAY TO U IS IF GOD HAD WANTED THERE TO BE A DAY OF REST, SHE WOULDN'T HAVE CREATED POPPERS, 5-HOUR ENERGY DRINKS, AND GENEROUS DEALERS WITH SOFT LIPS AND A PENCHANT FOR FONDLING MY TWINK FRIENDS. U KNOW?

SO, LIKE, WHAT ELSE TO DO TODAY TO CURE THIS ETERNAL HANGOVER I CALL LIFE THAN GO TO MISSIE'S. FREE CHILI AND TEA SANDWICHES (FOR THE GENTLEMEN AND THE LADIES, DUH), PLENTY OF OUTLETS TO CHARGE MY CELLY FOR FREE (SHUT UP, A BITCH IS BROKE), DADDY BARTENDER WORKING (AKA SPITTING ON HIS FINGER AND STIRRING MY DRINK WITH IT, AAKA A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART)... IT PRETTY MUCH IS LIKE GOING TO CHURCH, BUT WITH BIGGER HATS.

PLUS, LIKE... WHO ELSE U GONNA FIND WHO'S AS QUOTABLE (AND PHOTOGENIC!) AS A COUPLA OLD DRUNK QUEENS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON?

TO WIT:

"HAVEN'T SEEN U FOR A WHILE...."

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(MUMBLE, MUMBLE)

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"OKAY, THEN! I SEE WE'RE GETTING RIGHT TO THE DEEP FINGER ACTION."

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1 comment:

  1. I STILL SCRATCH MY HEAD AT WHETHER THAT SVELTE SMOOTH TAN SUPPLE PIERCED DICK PIC THAT DADDY BARTENDER SENT ME WAS HIM OR NOT?! DEFINITELY THE PERSON I'M MOST PROUD TO HAVE HAD PHONE-SEX WITH.

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