4.24.2009

GUERNEVILLE III

GUERNEVILLE. YOU HAVE GOT. TO BE KIDDING ME. THIS PLACE NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME. UNFORTUNATELY I DON'T HAVE PICS OF THE HOT-TUB, THE BIGGEST DICK I'VE EVER INTERACTED WITH, DOING WHIPPITS (OR JUST EATING WHIP CREAM, IN MY CASE) AT SAFE-WAY, OR THE POOL PARTY THE NEXT DAY, BUT THIS IS A LITTLE SMATTERING OF LAST SATURDAY NIGHT, AKA THE RUSSIAN RIVER RESORT'S STAR STUDDED "QUEER ROCK FESTIVAL."

ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE...


WHY DON'T I REMEMBER THAT GUY?!


FESTIVAL OR NOT, COUNTRY DAN WAS STILL DOING KARAOKE. AND BTW, I GOT HIM TO GET A BONER AND IT WAS HUGE!!!


ANDERSON COOPER?

THE AMAZING WOMAN WHO WAS STAYING IN ROOM 13!!! WE THOUGHT WE SAW HER CUTTING UP A HUGE BLOCK OF COKE BUT WHEN WE WENT IN AND HUNG OUT WITH THIS CRAZY OLD DRUNK BITCH AND HER 30-SOMETHING GAY COMPANION (STILL UNSURE ABOUT THAT RELATIONSHIP), WE FOUND OUT IT WAS JUST BRIE CHEESE, SOME WEIRD KIND THAT TASTED LIKE POP CORN. WALKING INTO THAT ROOM WAS LIKE STEPPING THROUGH A WORM-HOLE.



I KNOW.



THIS AMAZING ROIDSY BARTENDER LOOKED *EXACTLY* LIKE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE, SOUNDED LIKE HIM, AND WAS BASICALLY RUNNING AROUND BEHIND THE BAR SLAMMING GLASSES AROUND BUT GETTING NOTHING DONE, AND THEN KEPT ASKING US TO FEEL HIS ASS, WHICH, I KID YOU NOT, FELT LIKE THE HOOD OF A CAR. 

VINSANTOS, NEED I SAY MORE?




HAVE TO GIVE DAD CREDIT FOR HAVING A HOT BAND!!!


THIS BAND LITERALLY BLEW ME AWAY. I WAS LOSING. MY MIND. IT WAS ONE HALF OF EJECTOR AND ONE HALF OF THE FANS OF JIMMY CENTURY, AND THEY HAD MELDED TOGETHER TO PLAY BOTH OF THEIR MATERIAL, WHICH WAS SORT OF LIKE REALLY REALLY GAY DEPECHE MODE, AND ALSO SOME COVERS WHICH I RECOGNIZED FROM NRG 92.7. I. WAS. FEELING IT!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY HER LOOK.








THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GAY: THAT PLACE REALLY FEELS LIKE HOME TO ME!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO RETIRE THERE FOR A LIFE OF ENDLESS MAI TAI'S, SUN BURNS AND PINK EYE!!!

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