IN TOO DEEP

LOGGED INTO YOUTUBE TONITE AND MY "RECOMMENDED FOR YOU" RECOMMENDATIONS WERE LITERALLY, LIKE, SIX DIFFERENT TEEN IDOLS DOING THEIR VERSIONS OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, PLUS VITAMIN C'S "GRADUATION SONG", A TALKING CAT, AND SOMETHING CALLED "CHARLIE BIT MY FINGER: THE REMIX."



I GIVE THAT ONE, LIKE, A 7. DEMI'S BUTT CHIN IS WAY MORE ENDEARING THAT SELENA GOMEZ'S, AND I LIKE HOW SNEAKILY SHE'S STRADDLING THE LINE BETWEEN CLEAN-CUT ROCKER CHICK AND WHITE GIRL R&B. WHICH ONE IS SHE GONNA BE??



TAY'S VERSION IS SURPRISINGLY UNDERWHELMING. I WAS GONNA GIVE IT, LIKE, A 2 OR SOMETHING, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THE SPARKLY GUITAR AND HER BEAUTIFUL MERMAID HAIR. SO, PROLLY A 3.



JOJO'S COOL. SHE'S LIKE DEMI LOVATO BUT WITH MORE BLACK FRIENDS. I GIVE HER A 7 TOO, MOSTLY JUST COZ "GET OUT" IS STILL ONE OF MY FAVE SONGS ABOUT TEENAGE TRIFLIN'. (PS: DID HE REALLY SAY BLACKGROUND RECORDS?)



WTF?? 0.



CAREBEAR. SO PRETTY, SO GOOD. LIKE, 10.



KELLY'S MAYBE BETTER THAN CAREBEAR? OR NOT. I CAN'T DECIDE. 10, TOO.

NOW I'M BORED. WHY DID I JUST DO THIS?