6.22.2009

TWINKS, TWITTER, TWOUBLE

TWO THINGS I'M FOLLOWING RIGHT NOW:

1. TAYLOR LAUTNER'S BULKING UP PROGRESS FOR NEW MOON!

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2. DEVIN DAIQUIRI'S TWITTER!

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SHE'S SO MAJOR. THERE'S THE GENIUS ONE-OFFS, LIKE:

umm did u seriously just ask me that? Shaq is a sweaty hog & I'm most certainly NOT a fan of ANYONE n the NBA! FUCK OUTTA HERE @TopFans_Shaq
8:11 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

Twitter and my pussy have 2 things in common: always over capacity or down for maintenance! That's some RTworthy shit hahah.
2:51 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

my second job is practically paying me to lie down & masturbate right now. cuz that's what I'm about to do. splat at you later! xoxo
1:18 PM Jun 21st from mobile web

I let my parents splurge. they're buying me clothes at my favorite store, AE. tweeting from the dressing room, butt ass naked <3
6:18 PM Jun 19th from mobile web

I'm about to upload a TwitPic of my jizz in 5.
11:02 PM Jun 22nd from mobile web

BUT THE REAL SHOW IS THE MULITPLE-TWEET SAGAS WE GET TO LIVE THROUGH WITH HER. A RECENT FAVE:

@TylerRealll I have no idea where that is ahah. I live close to St. Louis, MO.
3:45 PM Jun 20th from web in reply to TylerRealll

just got off the phone. @TylerRealll comin over here 2 "beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up, like blim blam blim blam" or however that song goes
4:31 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

He's 11 and a half inches... that's a lot for a whiteboy. I'ma be like Trina "I wanna feel it in my stomach, push it in my chest" ahahaha!!
4:35 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

slap it in my face, shove it down my throat. haha. Trina inspires me soooo much in the bedroom.
4:52 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

DAMN!!!!! SO HE HAS A BIG DICK BUT HE WASN'T HITTIN' IT RIGHT!!! I HATE THAT!!!! LEARN HOW TO FUCK!!!!!!
6:13 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

I am OUTRAGED. He tweeted "Wasting my time fucking an offbeat, pussy nigga next time when you see me DON'T SPEAK"!!!!!!!!!!! pffffffft.
6:14 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

boy I am 6 foot 3! @TylerRealll I stuck it in like a champ, I'M A REAL BITCH. YOU A BITCH.
6:18 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

You the fucking worst, you the fucking worst, you the fucking worst, you fucking worst, YOU THE WORST I'VE EVER HAD!!!!!
6:25 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

Girl he beat it up like a blind man. Hell yeah he fucked up majorly! @heyheyrenae
6:28 PM Jun 20th from mobile web

I KNOW, RIGHT??

SINCE PEREZ HAS BEEN TRAGICALLY RELEGATED TO MAKING STATEMENTS FROM HIS DEATHBED (WHICH LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE IT CAME FROM CHER'S SANCTUARY CATALAGUE??), I PREDICT DEVIN DAIQUIRI WILL BE THE NEXT GAY INTERNET SENSATION. AND WHEN IT COMES TO TWINKS AND TWITS, I AM NEVER WRONG.

6 comments:

  1. i made up a name for your bf's dick too. it's called "in me"

    ReplyDelete
  2. TWA'? LET'S MAKE UP A NAME FOR MY BF!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. yr new bf is named jef

    JEFATASSMOMMA

    (oh snap)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm following this man immediately.

    ReplyDelete
  5. He's following me on Twitter 'n' wants to fuck me. Alexis go fuck him for me aight.

    ReplyDelete