7.15.2009

LEMON DIET DAY 9: "SHE'S OVER IT"

I feel like a 45-year-old mouth-breathing virgin living in my Mom’s basement jerking off to internet bukkake porn at 3am. I’m exactly the same as that guy except I’m looking at online menus. I even cruised Marie Callendars. Don’t judge. She has aged WELL.

That said, I’m getting kind of sad that it’s almost over. Now I feel like I could go another week. I won’t, though. I’m grossly skinny, my face is breaking out in a wild red rash that only if I scratch hard enough kind of looks like I’m “glowing”, and I’m tired of saying no to everything. I want my big old titties back. I wanna un-block all those Facebook food talkers so I can go back to reading about their horrible lives and feeling better about myself because of them. I want to LIVE.

But more than anything, I fucking want beans on toast!!! #1 CRAVE BY FAR!!!

Also I went to a show tonight at the worst jock bar in Berkeley and had the BEST time.

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