11.02.2009

FASHION

I WENT ON A BUYING TRIP TO RENO WITH DAD AND DANI AND AMY, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THE MOST CLOTHES BUT AS THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T ACTUALLY DEAL IN VINTAGE CLOTHING I HAVE THE LEAST TO GAIN FROM IT. IT WAS ALSO REALLY FUN BECAUSE THEY ARE REALLY COMPETITIVE AND WHEN PEOPLE AROUND ME ARE JUMPING OUT OF A CAR AND SPRINTING INTO A STORE I FIND THAT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING BUT MOVE AS SLOW AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE AND MEANDER AIMLESSLY THROUGH THE STORE FINDING WEIRD SHIT TO CONVINCE AMY TO WEAR AS A BRA. IT WAS REALLY FUNNY THOUGH BECAUSE WE ALL SPEAK IN THE SAME RETARDED NON-LANGUAGE, A JIBBER-JABBER OF EXAGGERATION, NONSENSE WORDS, HYPERBOLE, CELEBRITY TRIVIA, POOP JOKES (OK MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME...) AND FLAT OUT LIES. SO IT WAS A FUN TRIP! 

THE HIGHLIGHTS WAS, DAD AND I THREE WAYING WITH A ~~~HOT~~~ REALNESS BLACK BODYBUILDER GUY, LIKE, I'M NOT KIDDING, LOOKED AND TALKED LIKE THISSTRAIGHT, AND HE KEPT SAYING THINGS LIKE, "YEAH, SUCK ON MY BLACK COCK, SUCK ON MY BLACK NIPPLES." A HUUUGE DICK, TOO. IT WAS UNCUT THOUGH. STILL HOT, BUT WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT? I NEED TO LIKE TAKE A CLASS. OH AND HIS NAME WAS CLEMENTE AND HE LIVED IN A MOTEL...IT'S BASICALLY DUMB LUCK WHEN TWO QUEENS FOLLOW A STRANGER (EASILY 5 X STRONGER THAN THE BOTH OF US COMBINED) FROM AN EMPTY GAY BAR IN RENO TO HIS MOTEL ROOM ALONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND DON'T GET MURDERED. SO I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT (I GUESS...). IT WAS SO HOT! RENO IS COOL. 

OH BUT THE OTHER HIGH LIGHT WAS PLAYING "STORE" IN OUR HOTEL ROOM, WE HAD A COMPETITION WHERE WE BROUGHT IN ALL OF OUR THINGS AND SET UP SHOP IN DIFFERENT CORNERS OF THE ROOM (IT WAS AT THE SANDS, THIS REALLY AMAZING CASINO/HOTEL WHERE ONLY PEOPLE IN THEIR 80S AND OLDER CAN GAMBLE, YOU HAVE TO BE A SMOKER TO GO TO IT SO IT'S REALLY CLOUDY AND MYSTERIOUS, AND THE ROOMS ARE $30 BUCKS A NIGHT! AND WAAAAAY BIGGER THAN THE ROOMS IN VEGAS), SO I WON'T TALK ABOUT MY COMPETITION OBVIOUSLY, BUT I'LL TELL YOU MY STORE WAS "BRA LANE" AND IT'S FUCKED UP ID DIDN'T WIN THAT NIGHT...


I'M REALLY INTO THE WAY SHIT TURNS OUT WHEN I DROP MY CAMERA AND THE BACK POPS OPEN IN THE LIGHT HAHA.









SO, AFTER HITTING UP EVERY THRIFT STORE FROM HERE TO RENO, WE PULLED UP OUTSIDE OF DAD'S PLACE, WHERE THIS HOT DUDE WHOSE DAD INVENTED BURNING MAN OR SOMETHING (? I BELIEVE ANY RUMOR I HERE) RUNS AN ART GALLERY ON THE FIRST FLOOR. WE IMMEDIATELY UNLOADED ALL OF OUR BAGS INTO HIS GALLERY AND STARTED PLAYING STORE AGAIN! WE MADE HIM AND HIS HOT FRIEND BE THE JUDGES AND THEY GOT REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT IT, THE WHOLE THING TURNED VERY INTENSE AND CRAZY, THEY EVEN BROUGHT OUT 1ST, 2ND AND 3RD PLACE PEDESTALS. YET ANOTHER NIGHT OF MY INCREDIBLE CREATION "PILE OF SHIT" COMING IN 4TH. KELLY, THE HOTTEST JUDGE, SAID THAT HE WROTE ON HIS SHEET ABOUT MINE, "COLD. MAGNETIC. I FEEL LIKE I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO LEAVE." I THINK HE WAS ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT ME AND/OR MY BODY?! I THINK HE'S BI. SO I WASN'T REALLY THAT UPSET, NOT LIKE AMI, WHO GOT THIRD AND STORMED INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET TRYING TO GET RUN OVER BECAUSE OF IT (HAHAHA ALWAYS A GOOD LOOK). AHH, FASHION. BEAUTIFUL FASHION.








BEFORE I KNEW I WASN'T GONNA WIN...




ACTING LIKE I WON ANYWAY.

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