Right so since there's a slew of Hallowe'en pictures coming up here are some of mine, not that I took any. I love Halloween, in a very vague way. I can never be arsed to make a costume (last year I wrapped some toilet paper around my normal clothes (bad look) and went to the most boring club in Sheffield where someone tried to put a dildo in my face but it wasn't even fun, because he was a cunt), but I like the imagery.

I was a werewolf, I loved it, I was bloody adorable.

Jonny is my best friend but I have no idea what this look is. Some kind of Eddie Munster/Alfafa vampire rave thing? I was there while he put the whole thing together as well, including when he went out in the rain to spend £20 on fang realness. We slept together the night before and didn't even have sex, GOD.

Dan is my housemate, he came from work and this was his costume (with clothes). Yes, he walked through a wood on his way there.

Richie and Gemma were SO BRIGHT FUCKING RED I actually got a bit edgy around them.

I was hoping to put my dick in someone, but that did not happen. Even with my unibrow, GOD.

I carved a pumpkin this year, but I gave up halfway through - it was supposed to be a flaming skull, but ended up just a skull. And I ended up just flaming. Will & Grace joke? Maybe. We put it on the mantlepiece anyway BUT THEN OUR MIRROR FELL FROM THE WALL AND SMASHED IT TO A MILLION PIECES. Poltergeist surely, I'm going to go and see Paranormal Activity and scoff at what an easy ride they had.

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