11.11.2009

NASEEM

SO I REMEMBER BEING LIKE 11, LIVING IN RURAL DERBYSHIRE (THAT'S IN ENGLAND, NEAR THE MIDDLE) WITH A FULL SET OF PUBES AND PERMANENTLY HORNY. I HAD TO MAKE DO WITH WHAT I COULD FIND IN THOSE DAYS (NOT LIKE NOW WHERE I HAVE LIKE 120GB OF PORN ON MY EXTERNAL HARDDRIVE) WHICH PRETTY MUCH MEANT LITTLEWOODS CATALOGUES (THE UNDERWEAR SECTION, AND SWIMWEAR IF I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET A SUMMER EDITION. REMEMBER TANGA BRIEFS? EVEN) AND MY PLAYSTATION MAGAZINES. I WASN'T RUBBING ONE OUT TO BANJO KAZOOIE OR ANYTHING (N64 I KNOW I KNOW), BUT EVERY NOW AND AGAIN I WOULD FIND SOMETHING TO GET MY TINY MIND EXCITED (DUKE NUKEM WAS SUCH A MUSCLE QUEEN). THERE WAS A SPECIAL FEATURE ON TEKKEN 3 WHICH HAD A BIG OLE PICTURE OF EDDIE GORDO IN THE MIDDLE, SPORTING THIS COMPUTER GENERATED BULGE - NICE. I REMEMBER HUNKERING DOWN OVER THAT MANY MANY TIMES, BUT THE BEST ONE (THE BEST ANECDOTE) WAS WHEN I SHOT MY FIRST LOAD OVER A PICTURE OF PRINCE NASEEM (MAYBE HE HAD A BOXING GAME OUT OR SOMETHING? FUCKING BORING), A BRITISH PAKISTANI BOXER AND MINOR CELEBRITY CIRCA LIKE 1997. I SAY SHOT, IT WAS MORE LIKE A DRIBBLE WHICH I SMEARED OVER HIS REMARKABLY SPHERICAL PECS AND TIGHT CURLY-HAIRED ABS. AND THAT PHOTO IS RIGHT HERE:

LOOK OUT FOR YOUR HANDS NASEEM!!!! IS IT WEIRD I'M NOW SEEING A GUY WHOSE NAME IS ONE LETTER OFF NASEEM?

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