11.07.2009

THIS SHIT

WELL, FREAKS, THERE'S SOME NEW FACES AROUND HERE, ALL OF EM TWINKY YOUNG QUEENS. I BROUGHT ON CHARLIE FROM NYC, BECAUSE SHE TALKS ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT AND TV (I TRUST THAT, DUH), JAMIE FROM THE U.K., BECAUSE HE SAID HE JACKS OFF A LOT (DUH), AND NICK, MY LITTLE GLOBE TROTTER, BECAUSE I'VE HAD A THREE-WAY WITH HIM, SO I KNOW HE REALLY "GETS" ME. I REALLY WANNA GET THE "GLOBAL" GAY PERSPECTIVE, KNOW WHAT I MEAN?! WE'LL SEE.

ANYWAY. I HATE HALLOWEEN. IT WAS ANNOYING. I BLACKED OUT HELLOV EARLY, CAME TO NAKED ON THE STREET IN NOTHING BUT HEELS AND BAD DRAG SCREAMING AT MY BOYFRIEND, WHATEVER. HOLLIDAYS ARE SO ANNOYING! BUT I DID END UP WITH SOME DECENTLY DISGUSTING PICTURES, SO TAKE A PEAK AT THOSE (IF YOU DARE), AND THEN TAKE A PEAK AT THIS PAST WEEK'S THING NIGHT (ANOTHER EARLY BLACK OUT) AND TELL ME...WHAT YOU THINK OF M....Y BODY.


ON THE TRAIN ON THE WAY TO THE FIRST PARTY AND I ALREADY LOOKED TIRED.


ME, WASTED AT LISON'S PARTY AT 6 PM, AN OMEN I WOULD SAY. DO YOU LIKE MY LOOK? I BASED IT ON MY MOM (AT LEAST THE HAIR AND MAKE-UP IS. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CHICO'S TO FLESH OUT A TRUE SUE PENNEY LOOK).




HOT ELF DAD. I'M TOTALLY GOING HIGH FANTASY FOR MY NEXT LOOK. NOT FOR HALLOWEEN BUT JUST FOR LIKE DAY TO DAY. I THINK IT'D BE COOL.


BRANDE IS A GOTH PEANUT M & M (THE ONLY COSTUME I GOT DOWN WITH).


I TAKE IT BACK - THOSE ARE ALL GROSS, AND I LEFT OUT A TON, TOO. I HATE HALLOWEEN! SO GAUCHE. 





THIS BITCH VERONICA KILLS ME. SHE IS INCREDIBLE, REALLY TALL IN PERSON AND REALLY FUNNY. I WAS LIKE "GIRL, YR A GOOD DANCER," AND SHE'S ALL, "I'M JUST FELLIN IT!" SHE WAS, TOO.






GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS. JUST BASED ON THE SHIT I PUT MYSELF THROUGH ON THOSE TWO NIGHTS IT'S NO WONDER I GOT SWINE FLU THIS WEEKEND. I'M FOR REAL, THIS IS THE FIRST DAY THAT I'M NOT BEING FORCED TO SERIOUSLY CONTEMPLATE MY OWN MORTALITY. THURSDAY NIGHT I THOUGHT I WAS A GONER. I WAS IN A WAKING FEVER DREAM SO INTENSE THAT I LITERALLY THOUGHT I WAS LADY GAGA ~~~ALL FUCKING NIGHT LONG~~~ AT ONE POINT I WAS SWEATING SO BAD I HAD TO TAKE OFF MY JAMMIES, AND IN MY MIND I WAS LADY GAGA AND I WAS ONLY SWEATING BECAUSE I HAD PUT ON ALL OF MY STAGE CLOTHES AT ONCE JUST TO SEE IF I COULD?! SO I FINALLY GET NAKED, STILL SOPPING WET WITH SWEAT, AND I SAID ALOUD, NO JOKE, "I'VE SWEATED EVERYTHING AWAY AND I EMERGE LADY GAGA." LIKE, THE WORDS CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH. I SPOKE THAT AND BELIEVED IT. TOO REAL!!!

BUT YOU GO READ THIS AND THEN TRY TO TELL ME I WASN'T LADY GAGA RIGHT THEN. OR THAT WE ALL AREN'T HER RIGHT NOW?! PEAK AROUND THAT SIGHT, TOO, CUZ IT'S ALL REALLY GOOD, I'M GONNA DO AN EXPOSE ON HER SOON. OK BAI BITCH.

2 comments:

  1. "One thing is for sure: Lady is Gaga for the All-Seeing Eye." Why are people so focused on her possible hermaphrodite status when the much more interesting secret is that she's A MIND CONTROL DEVICE! This is some DaVinci code shit
    Also: there's a sequel http://vigilantcitizen.com/?p=2614

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  2. i also blacked out that night, girl. james and evan were all nasty out by the safeway and meanwhile i was passed out in the pushes with scrapes all over my legs.

    (btw, hi.)

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