1.20.2010

CITY OF SEXY BITCHY LITTLE ANGELS

"L.A. TOLD ME. YOU'LL BE A POP STAR. ALL YOU HAVE TO CHANGE. IS EVERYTHING YOU ARE."

EVERYTIME I GO THERE I FEEL A LITTLE TAKEN IN BY ALL THE GLAMOUR OF DRIVING AROUND IN A NICE CAR AND GOING TO FANCY PLACES WITH EXPENSIVE CLOTHES AND BLAH BLAH BLAH AND LA LA LA BUT THINKING ABOUT IT NOW, AFTER A HEAVY LECTURE FROM MY SURROGATE FATHER JEPPE ABOUT MAKING "GOOD DECISIONS" FOR MY "CAREER" I REALIZE THAT ALL OF MY GLAMOROUS GAY FRIENDS IN DIFFERENT CITIES, WHILE THEY MAY BE RICH AND REALLY COOL, ARE NONE OF THEM POPPING UP ON THE COVER OF ANYTHING BUT THE MOST NICHEY OR STUPID MAGAZINES, SO...THE CONCEPT OF FAME IS STILL ELUDING ME. BUT NEVERTHELESS, L.A. ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE SOME FUCKED UP PARADISE, I THINK I WOULD HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO PICK MY NOSE AND THINK ABOUT THINGS IF I MOVED THERE, AND I WOULD PROBABLY WORK IN HIGH-END RETAIL.

SO, WE WENT BECAUSE OF DIANE'S NEW MOVIE "BOY" WAS OPENING AT PERES PROJECTS (MY OTHER SURROGATE FATHER, AT LEAST IN THE FANTASY LIFE I LEAD IN MY HEAD), NOW, I ALREADY SAW THE MOVIE, SO I KNEW THAT IT IS A PRETTY LIFE-CHANGING PIECE HONESTLY (AND I'M NOT EVEN SAYING THIS BECAUSE SHE'S MY FRIEND AND I'M IN IT, EVEN IF IT'S FOR A BRIEF RANT IN PANTY HOSE ROLLING AROUND ON TOP OF A REFRIDGERATOR), PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE I RESPECT FROM SAN FRANCISCO WAS THERE, AND WE ENDED UP STAYING FOR THE POPPERS (HAVE I EVER TAKEN A VACATION THAT DIDN'T INVOLVE SICKENING AMOUNT OF POPPERS? THAT ANSWER IS NO, OR AT LEAST I DON'T REMEMBER IT BECAUSE I DO TOO MANY POPPERS). HIGHLIGHTS THAT AREN'T PICTURED (HERE): EATING MY BOOGERS IN FRONT OF MY TEENAGE IDOL JAMES ST. JAMES, MY DRAG MOTHER DE DE DROPPING HER BRACELET IN M.I.A.'S TOILET (AND FISHING IT OUT), MAKING OUT WITH THIS HOT DUDE THAT I USED TO HAVE A CRUSH ON, SUCKING THIS RANDOM DUDE'S HAIRY DICK, AND TAKING A SHIT IN AN ALLEY (I ACTUALLY HAVE A PICTURE OF THAT BUT SERIOUSLY, THANK ME FOR SPARING YOU, IT IS ~~~TOO~~~ REAL). I DUNNO I CAME BACK FEELING LIKE AN UGLY PIECE OF TRASH (WHICH HONESTLY NEVER HAPPENS, SO IT WAS WEIRD) AND DYED MY HAIR BROWN AND SHAVED IT SO I FEEL BETTER BUT...I STILL HATE MY LIFE HAHAHAHA.


MEGAN SHIT, DIANE CRITCHELOE, LISA VULVAWELL




MOTHER AND DAUGHTER. WE BOTH WORE METALLICS THAT NIGHT AND WE DIDN'T EVEN PLAN IT!



THE FUNNIEST PERSON ALIVE, I'M SERIOUS



OH YEAH, RYAN LINKOF WOULDN'T HAVE SEX WITH ME, BUT I HAVE ALL YEAR TO MAKE THAT RESOLUTION HAPPEN, RIGHT?!




MISS SEAN DE LEAR




OK, THIS IS A SENSITIVE SUBJECT. I WAS REALLY TRYING TO REBOUND WITH GREGORY BAD, BUT HE WOULDN'T GO FOR IT, SO I JUST STARTED TELLING HIM, EVERYONE, AND MYSELF, THAT WE WERE DATING, I MEAN, IT WAS A JOKE BUT HONESTLY I WOULD'VE DONE IT IN A SECOND, A DISTRACTION IS ALL I EVER WANT, YOU KNOW? SO FAR I ONLY GOT HIM TO HOLD MY HAND, BUT I HAVE A CAR AND KNOW HIS ADDRESS SO, UH, SEE YOU SOON GIRL, HAHAHA, JUST KIDDING, OR AM I?! I'VE DONE CRAZIER THINGS FOR UGLIER GUYS WHO WEREN'T EVEN GAY, TRUE STORY...


KITTY IN WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE MOST INCREDIBLE OUTFIT I'VE EVER SEEN UNTIL I SAW HER THE NEXT NIGHT









I LOVE THIS GIRL'S ENERGY, SHE IS SO RAD

HELLO BITCH! KITTY IS SO COOL I AM SO OBSESSED WITH HER...

FINE, BYE.

3 comments:

  1. the one moment i'm not in LA and you cum all over it!! the agony . . .

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  2. You'll prolly end up on the cover of 'Handjobs' one day, as a daddy

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  3. That guy you made-out with was fine... real fine. You bitch! So jealous. Ha!

    ReplyDelete