1.02.2010

RESOLUTIONS

~ BE LESS OF A BITCH (I'M SERIOUS!)

~ GET BETTER AT MAKE-UP

~ GET KIND OF BUFF

~ FINISH AT LEAST ONE STUPID SINGLE AND GIVE LOTS OF INTERVIEWS ABOUT IT.

~ TAKE BETTER CARE OF MY SKIN (YOU DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW HOW OLD I'M TURNING REALLY SOON IT'S DISGUSTING AND FUCKED UP I'M SO HORRIFED TO BE A WRINKLY TWINK I MAY ONLY HAVE LIKE 2 GOOD YEARS LEFT.....)

~ HONE MY PSYCHIC POWERS

~ STOP TAKING STUPID RISKS (DUI-ING, TONS OF ANONYMOUS SEX, I KNOW I KNOW, I'M NOT TRYING TO BE A SQUARE I JUST DON'T WANT TO DIE BEFORE I'M A HOUSE-HOLD NAME AND HOPEFULLY A BIG JOKE AT THAT. I'D LIKE TO BE THE NEXT ALEXIS ARQUETTE THANK YOU)

~ HAVE SEX WITH RYAN LINKOF

~ HAVE A THREEWAY ON 2CB'S WITH ONE OF MY "STRAIGHT" CRUSHES, PREFERABLY MY BF'S BROTHER OR MY HOT COUSIN IN DENVER. THEY WILL LIKE IT AT THE TIME.

~ MAKE FRIENDS WITH LA MONISTAT (SHE'S THIS REALLY INSANE DRAG QUEEN IN SF SHE'S A HUGE BITCH BUT I'M REALLY OBSESSED WITH HER I SEND HER TONS OF DUMB MESSAGES AND TRY TO TALK TO HER OUT AND SHE'S NOT HAVING IT I WANT TO BE HER DAUGHTER!!! PLEEEEEASE LA IF YOU'RE READING THIS THE WAY YOUR LIPS QUAVER IS INSPIRED. SIMPLY INSPIRED. I NEED YOU.)

~ MOVE TO NEW YORK & CONVINCE THE ESSENTIAL OILS (THE TRENDY BERRY'S NEW NAME FOR 2010) TO COME WITH, JUST FOR A YEAR (I'M NOT ONE OF *THOSE* PEOPLE)

~ START & FINISH MY HIT GAY DRAG MUSICAL DRAMEDY SCREENPLAY WITH MY FORMER RIVAL

~ CONVINCE MY BOYFRIEND TO MOVE IN WITH ME (I MEAN, HELLO, LOOK AT ME...)

~ MAKE A LOT OF MONEY

~ SPEND A LOT OF MONEY

I FEEL LIKE THESE ARE PRETTY REALISTIC. WHATEVER. THIS ISN'T EVEN FUNNY. SORRRYY HAHAHA.



OH PS ABOUT THE WHOLE AGE THING, I'M KIDDING, I JUST TURNED 21, AND I'M STAYING THAT WAY FOREVER. FUCK OFF.



R.I.P. GIRL

1 comment:

  1. Yr so sensible Alexis. I like it! I'm boring

    ReplyDelete