2.13.2010

ICE DREAMS

HEY DO YOU GUYS LIKE THE OLYMPICS? I LOVE THEM. THE OLYMPICS IS DEFINITELY THE ONLY SPORTS-RELATED THING THAT I CARE ABOUT, AND I KIND OF CARE REALLY DEEPLY ABOUT THEM. I LOVE BOTH THE SUMMER AND WINTER OLYMPICS, BUT I THINK I MIGHT LOVE THE WINTER ONES A LITTLE BIT MORE (DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT, IT WAS OFF THE RECORD). I THINK I LIKE THE WINTER ONES BETTER FOR TWO REASONS:
A) I HAVE A THING FOR UNDERDOGS AND THE WINTER GAMES ARE OBV. THE OLYMPIC UNDERDOGS.
B) THE WINTER OLYMPICS ARE WAAAY FAGGIER, WHICH IS AWESOME! I MEAN ALL SPORTS ARE GAY, BUT THEY ARE SO OBSESSED WITH COVERING IT UP AND BEING ALL HYPER-HETERO AND IT'S JUST GROSS HOW STRONGLY THEY REEK OF DENIAL, BUT THE WINTER OLYMPICS ISN'T LIKE THAT! THE WINTER OLYMPICS HAVE FIGURE SKATING!! AND EVEN THE TLC UNPRETTY SPORTS LIKE SKIING STILL DONT HAVE THAT SORT OF FAUX MACHISMO THAT I HATE.

OBVIOUSLY MY FAVORITE EVENT AT THE WINTER OLYMPICS IS ICE SKATING. I REMEMBER BEING LITTLE AND STAYING UP LATE TO WATCH NANCY KERRIGAN COMPETE AFTER THE WHOLE TONYA HARDING INCIDENT. (THAT WAS SERIOUSLY THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN, TONYA WAS SUCH A REDNECK HBIC, AND NANCY WAS SO SNOTTY AND ICE-TASTIC AND UM HELLO BUT OKSANA BAIUL WAS A FUCKING ORPHAN AND AN AMAZING ATHLETE AND A BEAUTIFUL ICE PRINCESS!)

AND I REMEMBER HAVING A SERIOUS FASCINATION WITH SAYING "KRISTI YAMAGUCHI" OVER AND OVER. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MICHELLE KWAN...

BUT WHAT I'M REALLY PSYCHED ABOUT FOR THE 2010 VANCOUVER GAMES IS WATCHING THE MEN'S FIGURE SKATING, AND THE SKATING OF ONE YOUNG MAN IN PARTICULAR: JOHNNY FUCKING WEIR JOHNNY IS THE ULTIMATE ICE QUEEN. HE SKATES SO BEAUTIFULLY, WEARS FABULOUS COSTUMES (WHO COULD FORGET THE SWAN!?) AND IS JUST A FIERCE FREE BITCH.

I ALSO LOVE HIM BECAUSE HE'S KIND OF REALLY CUTE. I EVEN FIND THE FACT THAT DESPITE HIS CRAZY GAYNESS AND FLAMBOYANCE HE STILL HAS TERRIBLE TASTE IN CLOTHING AND HOME DECOR SUPER ENDEARING. HE'S HAD A REALITY SHOW ON SUNDANCE CHANNEL FOR THE PAST MONTH AND IT HAS BEEN REALLY AMAZING AND FASCINATING AND HE IS JUST SO GREAT. HE DOES THIS CHARACTER- A RUSSIAN JOURNALIST NAMED VYASHASLAV- AND OH JESUS IT IS SO CUTE AND FUNNY. OK I'M GUSHING I KNOW, BUT WHAT CAN I SAY, I'M IN LOVE. ANYWAY I GUESS THAT'S ALL FOR NOW BUT LATER THIS WEEK I'M GONNA WRITE ABOUT JOHNNY'S ARCH-NEMESIS WHO I HATE, EVAN LYSACEK.

LOVE HIM (OH AND HIS BEST FRIEND PARIS IS SO GROSS, I'M OBSESSED)

WOULDN'T IT BE SO HOT IF HE PERFORMED IN A MUSCLE SHIRT AND GREASE STAINS? OH BE STILL MY HEART.

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