3.05.2010

LOVE IS LIFE AND LIFE IS LIVING, VERY SPECIAL...


OK, SO, TIME TO TELL THE T. THERE IS THIS OTHER ALEXIS IN TOWN, THE CONCEPT OF WHICH I LOVE, BECAUSE I LOVE PEOPLE WITH MY SAME NAME AS ME (REMEMBER THIS GUY? HIS NAME WAS ALEX, TOO!), AND I ALSO LOVE DRAG QUEENS, SO CONCEPTUALLY, SLEEPING WITH HER WAS A GOOD IDEA, AND I'M NOT GONNA SAY SHE ISN'T KIIIIIND OF HOT, BUT IN BED THE BITCH STARTS PHILOSIPHIZING ABOUT SAN FRANCISCO DRAG, AND JUST REALLY PUT THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN FOR ME HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER AGAIN. I'M NOT GONNA GET TOO SPECIFIC (SUPRISINGLY) BUT BASICALLY SHE JUST TRASHED THE RAD QUEENS AND TALKED UP THE CHEEZY LAME ONES, SO I'M JUST LIKE, WHATEVER BITCH.

WHICH LEADS ME TO THIS STATEMENT: SOME THING IS THE PUNKEST DRAG SHOW IN THIS CITY. VIVYANNE AND GLAMAMORE AND ALL THE FREAKS THEY GET TO COME OUT FOR THEIR NIGHT (IT'S FRIDAYS AT THE STUD) REALLY TURN IT OUT, LIKE WEIRD, INTENSE VISUALS, EMOTIONAL SHIT, AND FUCKING FUNNY SHIT. EVERYTIME I GO THE PERFORMANCES ARE WAY PAST SOLID, THEY'RE TOTALLY NUTS, AND THEIR THEMES ARE WEIRD, SO I HAVE TO GIVE IT UP TO THEM, BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND SOME FUCKIN' SHABBY DRAG QUEENS THAT THINK JUST BECAUSE THEY LOOK VAGUELY FEMININE THEY CAN JUST LIP SYNCH SOME BULLSHIT AND THAT'S THAT, LIKE, IT'S 2010 BITCH, TIME TO STEP UP YOUR GAME.

SO I WAS STOKED ABOUT THIS NIGHT BECAUSE IT WAS THE RETURN OF THIS QUEEN AMBROSIA SALAD FROM TOKYO, I KNOW HER VAGUELY BUT I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED HER FROM AFAR, SHE HAS A WEIRD MOM/SLUTTY WAITRESS VIBE, DOES WEIRD SONGS AND HAS A REALLY BEAUTIFUL (I KNOW, BUT SHE DOES) AND GRACEFUL WAY OF MOVING, SHE'S REALLY TALENTED, SO I WAS STOKED TO SEE HER, BUT SOMEBODY ELSE REALLY STOLE THE SHOW FOR ME, AND HER NAME IS LA MONISTAT.

LET'S GET REAL ABOUT THIS BITCH. HER REPUTATION PRECEDES HER, EVERYWHERE. SHE IS BASICALLY THE COURTNEY LOVE OF SAN FRANCISCO DRAG. ISNANELY TALENTED AND EVERYONE IS SCARED OF HER AND TALKS SHIT ON HER, BUT HONESTLY, THOUGH I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT HER AT FIRST, THE MINUTE I SAW HER PERFORM FOR THE FIRST TIME I KNEW THAT THIS WAS A TRUE SHINING TALENT. LIKE, OUT OF THIS WORLD. LIPS, FACE, LOOK (WHICH IS SO REAL), MOVES, IT'S ALL SO SOLID, LIKE, AN INSPIRATION. IT'S CRAZY. BUT THIS SHIT. BLEW. ME. THE. FUCK. AWAY. I LITERALLY HAD TEARS IN MY EYES AND COLD CHILLS ALL OVER MY BODY. THE PICS DON'T REALLY DO IT JUSTICE, BUT YOU CAN STILL SEE THE INSANE PICTURE SHE PAINTS ON STAGE. THE FALLING SNOW?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. I STILL GET CHILLS THINKING ABOUT IT. LITERALLY TOOK EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I KNEW ABOUT DRAG AND SMASHED IT TO PIECES. OK THIS IS GROSS I'M GUSHING, JUST ENJOY THESE FREAKY PICS FROM A FREAKY BITCH WHO IS OBSESSED WITH DRAG QUEENS HAHAHA.




AMBROSIA




MYLEY AND I WERE BOTH HELLA STAR STRUCK BY HER AFTERWARDS!






AND OF COURSE MISS SHANNON SHOWS UP IN THAT!!! AMAZING BITCH. WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE WEARS TO THE GROCERY STORE?






EW, SERVING A BUTCH LOOK, OR TRYING TO. I ONLY EVER GET LAID LATELY WHEN I'M IN FACE?! WTF...


DREAM BOAT!


SO THE NEXT NIGHT WE HOOKED UP WITH CHI SLANGER, WHO WAS BEING HELLA FUNNY AS USUAL, SOLD ME SOME VICIOUS STUFF THAT HAD ME ROLLING ALL THROUGH WORK THE NEXT DAY, AND CONTINUED TO REAFFIRM MY (NEGLIGIBLE) FAITH IN STRAIGHT PEOPLE. HE'S SERIOUSLY SO COOL.


AND THEN IT WAS BIG TOP VS. THE MISS HONEY QUEENS, SO OF COURSE, MORE LOOKS WERE SERVED, BUT THE REAL SITUATION WAS TO COME LATER...








THANK GOD









NOW THIS IS THE ONLY OTHER THING I'LL SAY ABOUT HER, CUZ I DON'T WANNA GET TOO CREEPY, BUT I'M JUST ALL AROUND FUCKING OBSESSED WITH THIS BITCH, CUZ NOT ONLY IS SHE AN AMAZING PERFORMER BUT SHE'S JUST PLAIN FUCKING FUNNY AND COOL, NO MATTER WHAT THESE JEALOUS QUEENS SAY. MY ONE DISSAPOINTMENT IS THAT I DON'T HAVE A PICTURE OF HER AND MYLES WALKING DOWN THE STREET HOLDING HANDS AT THE END OF THAT NIGHT, BECAUSE IT WAS A STUNNING. SIGHT TO BEHOLD. I THOUGHT I TOOK THE PIC BUT MAYBE I WAS OUT OF FILM. I DUNNO I WAS ON ONE HAHAHA.






OH AND THIS WAS AT THE HARLEM SHOW A COUPLE NIGHTS LATER. JOSE GOT SO HOT! AND COOMERS GAVE ME THAT CRAZY DRESS, TOO, BTW.


DAMN THIS SHIT NEVER ENDS! SO THIS WAS HIGH FANTASY THIS WEEK, UM, CAN I JUST SAY THAT THE ONLY THING THAT CAN MAKE ME FEEL THAT I'VE REALLY ARRIVED IN THIS CITY IS WHEN MISS SHANNON WALKS INTO MY PARTY EVERY WEEK? I GET SO EXCITED! THIS WAS TOO REAL THOUGH, SHE REALLY LET HER HAIR DOWN AND LET US INSIDE HER MIND. YOU KNOW SHE ALWAYS SHOWS UP WITHL IKE 8 X 10 AND WALLET SIZE PHOTOS OF HERSELF? LIKE HUNDREDS. TO HAND OUT. AND THEY'RE ALL TOTALLY FUCKING INSANE, OBVIOUSLY. WELL TUESDAY SHE HELLA WALKS IN WITH ALL THESE PICTURES OF CRYSTALS AND GEODES FROM CAVES AND SHIT? AND STARTS LEADING PEOPLE BACK TO THE BACK ONE BY ONE TO CROUCH NEXT TO LIGHT COMING IN THROUGH THIS HOLE IN THE BACK DOOR OF THE CLUB, TO SHOW THEM HOW THERE'S TINY FAERIES ENTOMBED IN THE CRYSTALS, AND THAT IT'S PROOF THAT FAERIES EXISTED?!?! SO...BASICALLY, REAFFIRMING MY OBSESSION WITH HER LIKE A MILLION TIMES OVER. HAVE YOU EVER MET A COOLER PERSON?!




HI PHIL *FLIRTY WAVE*. AS BARRY SAYS, "THE WORKING GIRLS SIT AT THE END OF THE BAR."






SO, IN CLOSING, REMEMBER THAT ONE, THE CUTE, SHORT, HAIRY QUEEN? SHE MADE MY BED THIS MORNING. I GET WHAT I WANT. THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY. HAHAHA BYE FREAKS! XOXO

6 comments:

  1. shannon is killing me over and over.

    damn i need some dick

    ReplyDelete
  2. who is that persian prince (cess) a natural beauty- MIKEY

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  3. UM HELLO WHO IS DJING IN THE THIRD-TO-LAST PHOTO CALL ME?

    ReplyDelete
  4. damnit I wanted to get with that guy! he's like my replacement/foil!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. although would it be like you getting with the other Alexis would it ruin things

    ReplyDelete