3.18.2010

SPICE

SINCE SOME INTERNET CHODE JUST CUSSED ME OUT FOR POSTING ABOUT LADY GAGA (WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?) I'M GONNA TRY AND REBUILD MY SELF ESTEEM BY POSTING ABOUT SOMETHING NICHE AND OBSCURE. HAPPY NOW? NOW I THOUGHT ABOUT POSTING SOMETHING ON NOH MERCY (HAPPY NOW?) OR NONA HENDRYX (HAPPY NOW?) OR MUKILTEO FAIRIES (HAPPY NOW?) BUT WHEN I THINK OF MY NICHIER TASTES, THERE'S ONE NAME THAT REALLY STICKS. THAT NAME IS THE NAME SPICE, AND IT IS USED TO SIGNIFY THE JAMAICAN DJ SPICE.



I FIRST HEARD SPICE YEARS AND YEARS AGO, BUT I WASN'T INTO HER, DESPITE LOVING FEMALE DANCEHALL. IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS I CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND NOW, BECAUSE SOMETIMES LAST YEAR I FOUND THIS



AND IT CHANGED MY OLD MIND. FIRST OF ALL, THE AUDIO IS SO DISTORTED IT TURNS THE RIDDIM 3 OR 4 TIMES HARDER THAN IT SHOULD BE. AND OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, LIP PIERCING, BLUE STREAK, MOTORBIKE. BUT YOU KNOW, SPICE IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE I HAVE A HYSTERICAL IDENTIFICATION WITH. I LOOK AT HER FACE AND I FEEL LIKE I KNOW HER, LIKE EVERY FEATURE IS A PART OF ME. WHEN I HEAR HER VOICE IT MAKES CHEMICALS DO A THING IN ME. SHE ALWAYS SOUNDS SO HARD AND ARTICULATE, A TOTAL REAL DJ, WHICH CREATES THIS DELICIOUS DISSONANCE WITH THE RUDEGAL SEXPOT IMAGE. WHEN SHE SINGS 'ANUH MY FAULT, NO NAH GWAN FI DEM, ME HARDCORE SPIT WHEN ME SEE DEM' WITH THAT AUTOTUNED, DOUBLED UP VOCAL IT JUST CUTS THROUGH MY HEAD LIKE AN AXE. I WAS WALKING AROUND MANCHESTER ON MY OWN LISTENING TO IT (I WENT TO SEE WATCHMEN ALONE AT THE IMAX, DIG THAT) LAST YEAR AND I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE HEARING SOMETHING FROM MY CHILDHOOD. IT WAS LIKE IT HAD BEEN WITH ME ALWAYS. MAYBE THIS IS JUST A SYNAPTICAL MISFIRE AND I'VE GOT A SWELLING OF THE BRAIN OR SOMETHING AND I'M GOING TO START SMELLING TOAST AND HAVING STROKES, I DON'T KNOW.





WHICH IS TO SAY NOTHING OF HOW ANTHEMIC AND AWESOME HER 'SCORN DEM' CATCH PHRASE IS.

HERE'S A SELECTION OF HER LOOKS













SCORN DEM

4 comments:

  1. SO. COOL. such a good look. also can totally relate to the Watchmen bit, that movie kind of fucked me up, 3 hours of my life gone in a flash...ftw

    ReplyDelete
  2. also you post about Gaga to your little heart's content, what the hell else are we supposed to talk about?!

    ReplyDelete
  3. obviously i love this, and obviously you shouldn't let anybody talk any shit about you or your Gaga appreciation or whatever. Some people get really worked up over things that weirdos like us write on our inconsequential fairy blogs, and the joke is on them... but also kinda still on us.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks you guys...

    Also, I just noticed Spice has her leg cocked in three of those photos - what kind of a stock pose is that? I'm totally adopting that now

    ReplyDelete