4.21.2010

I TAKE PICTURES BECAUSE...

...I CAN'T REMEMBER SHIT WITHOUT 'EM. THE ONLY THING I SIGNIFICANTLY REMEMBER CLEARLY ABOUT LAST WEEK IS THAT I DID DRAG TO "I TRY" BY MACY GRAY AND MADE AN ANNOUNCEMENT BEFORE-HAND THAT I WAS IN THE THROES OF FEELING REJECTED BY THE GUY WHO HAD RANDOMLY STOPPED CALLING ME, SO I MADE THE WHOLE CROWD VISUALIZE WITH ME HIS NAME AND HIM CALLING ME, KIND OF CREEPY, DESPERATE GAY PSEUDO-MYSTICISM, THE KIND OF SHIT I LOVE. FLASH FORWARD A FEW DAYS...HE CALLED. GAY PEOPLE HAVE POWERS. WE ARE LIKE MUTANTS. WE CAN GET ANYTHING WE WANT OR AT LEAST NEED IF WE JUST THINK HARD ENOUGH...TRY IT. I'M SERIOUS!





I FUCKIN' LOVE THIS BITCH I WISH YOU COULD HEAR THE WAY SHE TALKS! SHE OPENS HER MOUTH REALLY BIG BUT KEEPS HER TONGUE REALLY CLOSE TO THE ROOF OF HER MOUTH SO EVERYTHING SHE SAYS IS REALLY WEIRD AND MUMBLED AND NASAL, THE CLOSEST REFERENCE POINT I HAVE IS JANICE FROM FRIENDS?!
MAYA GOSSIP BOI.
STEVE "BIG KITTY" MENDEZ, THE BEST DOOR QUEEN POPPERS AND POP CORN CAN BUY.









WHEN I PUT UP PICTURES OF MY HOT STRAIGHT FRIENDS IT REMINDS ME OF HOW MY PARENTS USED TO JOKE AT HOW DESPERATE THEY WERE TO SEEM LIBERAL AND NOT RACIST AND BE LIKE, "LOOK, HERE'S A PICTURE OF ME WITH MY ARM AROUND A BLACK MAN!" LIKE, CONSTANTLY GUSHING ABOUT HOW MANY ETHNIC AND GAY FRIENDS THEY HAVE, AND HOW THEY WOULDN'T CARE IF ME OR MY SISTER MARRIED A BLACK PERSON? LIKE, THIS JUST SEEMS LIKE ME TRYING TO RUB IT IN YOUR FACE, LIKE, PROOF THAT I HAVE HOT STRAIGHT FRIENDS WHO LIKE ME OR SOMETHING HAHAHA. WELL, READ 'EM AND WEEP, CUZ I DO. AND THEY DO. A LOT.


AW BABY HAD A COLD THAT DAY.


IT WAS D'ANDRE'S BIRTHDAY AND HE MADE THE MOST INSANE FOOD! HE IS SUCH A CATCH.
THAT PAYAYA REMINDS ME OF "HURRICANE STEW" WHICH I'VE ONLY SEEN ONE TIME AND IT WAS AT THE AMERISTAR CASINO BUFFET 5 YEARS AGO. I TURNED MY NOSE UP AT IT THEN BUT I DEFINITELY WAS NOT ABOUT TO PASS IT UP THAT NIGHT. SO GOOD. THEY SAY OYSTERS ARE AN APHRODISIAC...I'M LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF 'EM AND, YEP, YOU GUESSED IT, HELLA HORNY. GOTTA GO...XO

No comments:

Post a Comment