6.16.2010

WORLDS OF FINE



HIGHLIGHTS - THIS FUCKIN' GUY IS FROM IRELAND AND WAS SO WASTED AND SOMEHOW MANAGED TO TAG ALONG WITH US ALL NIGHT LONG (WELL HE WAS BUYING ME DRINKS 3 AT A TIME, SO THAT WAS FINE) AND LITERALLY COULD SAY NOTHING BUT VARIATIONS ON THE WORD "GORGEOUS." LIKE GORGEOUS, GORGEOUSNESS, THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH IT. ALSO I GOT REALLY INTO "ALEJANDRO" FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT NIGHT, YOU CAN'T HATE SOMETHING WHEN YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY FAGS AND EVERYONE IS DANCING AND SINGING ALONG, I COULD GET INTO ANYTHING IF A MOB OF QUEENS WENT NUTS FOR IT. SORRY, IT'S TRUE.




I CAN'T REMEMBER WHY I TOOK A PIC OF THESE BUT I THINK IT'S PART OF MY PLAN TO TAKE PICS OF EVERY FOOL WHO COMPARES ME TO LADY GAGA OUT. YEA I KNOW I JUST SAID I GOT INTO "ALEJANDRO" BUT I'M CLEARLY A. NOT INFLUENCED BY HER AND B. LOOK NOTHING LIKE HER, WHY DOES EVERYONE WEIRD HAVE TO BE ABOUT LADY GAGA NOW? IT'S LIKE THROW ME A BONE, AT LEAST GIMME AN ANNIE LENNOX, BUT NO, I'M NOT WEARING LIKE A STUDDED EYE PATCH OR COVERED IN LIT CIGARETTES OR WHATEVER GOD DAMN BULLSHIT, I'M A TALL QUEEN WITH AN UGLY POMPADOUR AND CRAPPY MAKEUP ON SOME HAGGARD PUMPS, IF YOU MUST CALL ME SOMETHING OTHER THAN MY NAME IT BETTER BE "GIRL" "GURR" "QUEEN" OR "BITCH."




GORGEOUS STILL IN TOW...













I DON'T REMEMBER A GOD DAMN THING ABOUT THAT NIGHT SO DON'T ASK. OH AND THIS IS TWO DIFFERENT NIGHTS AT THE SAME CLUB, IF IT'S CONFUSING FOR YOU HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL? THE GUY I MADE OUT WITH WHO SMEARED MY LIP STICK WAS SO WORTH IT! AND NO IT WAS NEITHER OF THOSE. THAT I CAN REMEMBER...







TRY NOT TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN, YA'LL. HAHAHA.









OK HERE'S THE DIRT I LEFT OUT: THE NEW THING I DO WHEN I'M WASTED IS I ASK PEOPLE OUT ON "DATES" WHICH MUST COME OFF AS SO...DESPERATE AND BIZARRE, I GUESS? I MEAN WHO AM I TRYING TO BE, THE GUY? WOMEN'S LIB GON AWRY, IF YOU ASK ME. SO THAT'S THAT, THEN THE OTHER NIGHT I SUCKED THIS HOMELESS, LIKE 60'S, ON A CANE HOMELESS, GUY'S DICK IN AN ALLEY WHILE EATING A CARL'S JR HAMBURGER (NO BUN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH) AND THEN WHEN THE BUS DRIVER HAD A CONNIPTION FIT ABOUT OVERTIME AND DROPPED US IN DOWNTOWN OAKLAND TO WAIT AN HOUR FOR THE NEXT BUS, I HITCHED A RIDE WITH ANOTHER 60 SOMETHING WEIRDO, THIS ONE IN A FANCY ASS CAR (THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER, THAT NIGHT WAS) WHO KEPT FINGERING MY BUTT AND TELLING ME I HAD A HAIRY PUSSY, BUT COULDN'T GET A BONER FOR ME TO SUCK EVEN BECAUSE HE WAS ON TOO MUCH CRYSTAL (AS PER HIS ADMISSION), SO I SAT UP STRAIGHT, CUT THE SHIT AND TOLD HIM TO JACK ME OFF, BUT HE COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT, SO I ENDED UP JACKING MYSELF OFF TWICE IN A 2 HOUR WINDOW IN FRONT OF TWO TOTAL STRANGER WEIRDOS, AND THEN DRAGGED MY ASS UP TO WAIT TABLES AT 9:30 AM. WHAT? I MISS YOU. XO

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