7.25.2010

"IT'S HARD WORK BEING INSANE"

MEET BAMBI LAKE. I FIRST HEARD ABOUT HER ONLY IN VAGUE RUMOURS WHEN I WAS GETTING TO BE FRIENDS WITH MISS S (AND WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT WENT DOWN, SO TRUST ME, I'M NOT TRYING TO "FEED THE STRAY DOG" OF AN INSANE BUT AMAZING TRANNY AND GET STRANGLED AGAIN, OK I PROBABLY WILL AND I PROBABLY WILL ALL MY LIFE BECAUSE I LIKE POLARIZING PEOPLE, I LIKE A SPECTACLE, AND I HAVE TOTALLY BOUNDLESS OPTIMISM THAT ALL PEOPLE WILL BE NICE TO ME, SO, FUCK IT) BUT HADN'T MET HER. AS FAR AS I CAN GLEAN SHE'S BEEN IN JAIL THE ENTIRE TIME I'VE BEEN IN SAN FRANCISCO, BUT SHE'S OUT NOW. HONESTLY SHE GETS CONFUSED WITH MISS S (OR SHE DID BY THE PERSON WHO TOLD ME ABOUT HER) AND I CAN SEE WHY, THE FIRST TIME I SAW HER I THOUGHT IT WAS S SANS MAKE-UP AND WIG, BUT EVERY OTHER TIME I'VE SEEN HER LIKE ALL DOLLED UP AND SHE LOOKS TOTALLY AMAZING AND IS OBVIOUSLY A TREASURE TROVE OF HISTORY. THE BEST QUOTE I'VE GOTTEN FROM HER THUS FAR IS, ABOUT METH, "DO YOU HAVE ANY? NO, JUST KIDDING, I JUST CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE. I'LL BE WALKING DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET JACKING OFF. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS." SO RELATABLE, HONESTLY!

SO, APPARENTLY SHE WAS A CHOREAGRAPHER FOR THE COCKETTES AND ALSO TOLD ME SHE DATED THE GUY FROM THE VIBRATORS, OR WAS IT THE STRANGLERS? I CAN'T REMEMBER. SO JUST KIND OF THIS PUNK, CRAZY TRANS GENIUS, SHE TALKS A LOT AND REFERENCES A LOT OF FUNNY SHIT AND ASKS FOR SPARE CHANGE IN THE SAME BREATH, I'M TOTALLY INTO HER. I FOUND THIS BIZARRE INTERVIEW BY A TOTAL IDIOT HERE BUT INFORMATIVE. SHE ALSO HAS A BOOK WHICH I'M TOTALLY BUYING. I DUNNO. MORE ON HER LATER. I HAD A FUNNY ENCOUNTER WITH HER ON FRIDAY, ACTUALLY. SAYS SHE'S GONNA HAVE A CABARET SHOW AT THE CAT CLUB WITH ALL TALL, LEGGY DRAG QUEENS IN HEADRESSES, UM, SOUNDS AMAZING. SHE SAID I COULD AUDITION HAHA.



YEAH. LOVE HER, CLARO. SO, YEAH, I LOVE TO SEE THIS WHEN I COME HOME. LIKE. LOVE. IT.







THIS PARTY GOT, LIKE, A LITTLE TOO LOCA HAHA.

















I TURN TO THE SIDE AND LITERALLY LOOK EXACTLY. LIKE MY MOTHER. STERN, DRUNK AND WEARING WAY TOO MUCH MAKEUP.











YES PLEASE!





I THINK THAT'S WHAT MY GIRLS ARE STARTING TO RECOGNISE ON ME AS BLACKOUT FACE.
FUUUUUUCK HIS BODY. PISSES ME OFF. I'M GONNA PRETEND THAT WE MADE OUT THAT NIGHT. I MEAN WE MIGHT'VE WHO KNOWS, MY FANTASIES AND REALITY ARE SO KNOTTED TOGETHER IN MY MIND, I JUST ASSUME I'VE SLEPT WITH EVERY GUY I KNOW AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.

AND FINALLY, CREOLE SISSY, GEE, WONDER WHERE SHE GOT THAT NAME? SHE'S A SISSY NOBBY RIP-OFF BOUNCE RAPPER WHO TRIES TO FREE STYLE AT OUR CLUB ALL THE TIME AND, IF YOU'LL LET HER, WILL STREAM PORN AND DO COKE ON THE FLOOR OF YOUR BEDROOM AT YOUR PARENTS HOUSE ALL NIGHT AND ORDER YOU TO BUY HER ALCOHOL BEFORE SHE'LL LEAVE. KIND OF AMAZING. SHE NEEDS A NEW NAME AND SHE'D BE SOLID. UGH SHOULD I GO OUT? I GUESS SO. HARSH! MISS U...XO

4 comments:

  1. The road to alcoholism can i come?

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  2. alexis you are playing with fire. haha. don't get on bambi's bad side. trust.

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  3. I love Creole Sissy bounce rap! I mean the "girls" often hate when true talent demands attention!!! Hatters! Creole keep up with the sissy New Orleans bounce, wish they had 1/3 of the talent!!! honeTy and remember if you were not doing something right you wouldn't have the obvious haters! Smile and give the miss America wave!!! Cause you "give me what the fuck I want!!!"

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  4. Alexis Blaire Penny will die soon from all the drugs she's doing. She tries to call other's out , but he is the real drug head and alcoholic. She has done plenty of people dirt and can I say the Bitch needs to eat. Stop all the Crystal Meth Girl it is not cute Tee Honey!! I can't wait till the Thug's and Crackhead's get this bitch in the Tenderloin when she least expects it .. KILL THAT HOE!!!

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