I used to hang out with the craziest guy. He was so attractive, like, retardedly so, and kind of like an older punk guy who'd gotten real sexy and clean cut but he was friends with all the older artists and stuff that I looked up to when I was coming up. We would get in these weird fights but cuddle too and he said that it was a sign of nesting, that we were becoming best friends and family. He would drive me around in his nice car smoking Parliament lights and he would always make mix cds for when we would hang out. "Check On It" was really big that year. I loved him. Then we got in some weird fight and he never spoke to me again, really. He moved on to some other younger punk kids. Everyone had said he would do that, too, but I was crushed. It was like a break up. He was Eastern Orthodox Christian which is a kind of insane religion and kind of homophobic in a weird way, but my gay friend ended up blowing him at some point. Sometimes I still think about him and that we would be the perfect couple. I texted him the other night cuz I still remember his number. He asked "who's this?" I said an old friend you probably don't want to talk to. Google my number. He didn't say anything back.

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