I am in a really weird place musically right now.

Such total insanity this month. December has such weird energy. I feel there is so much collective anticipation and emphasis put on this time of year by so many people that it really does things. I DJed the Christmas Eve drag show last night and then took molly and mushrooms at the same time and I really really tripped out, it was pretty powerful and beautiful. My reality is so blurry anyway because of all the drinking and lack of sleep and I just have a really active imagination, that when I hallucinate it really just drives home weird revelations that I have normally. I've been deep back into these books by Diane Duane that are a really fresh take on the paradigm of magic and wizards in modern times, she wrote them in the 80s but they're soo good, and suddenly I'm sitting at my beautiful bay windows looking out over my view, which I trip out on enough sober, listening to opera and these two palm trees outside of my window are these huge lion god and goddesses and they're singing directly to me, and the grease trap on the restaraunt across the street is the Devil, crouched there just staring at me, reminding me that he's there, but I am some potent creation Goddess so he really had nothing on me, and there we all were, just a beautiful pantheon of gods watching the sun rise and singing opera together and keeping each other in check. I almost jumped out my window, which I'm really glad I didn't.

This is what the lion trees were dueting...

As I was coming down of course I got horny so I had some guy over, and I went to the mirror for the first time in hours to see how I was doing and there I am, pale, shirtless, baggy dress pants unzipped with a lot of white face make-up and some dark eyes and a bindi and I just had this realization that I was some Queen Dracula energy vampire and that I owned the entire city, then I watched the guy pull up in his truck and beckoned him in and he jacked off on me and gave me a massage and I thought he was my father for awhile and then he tucked me in and I slept til 5:30. All in all a pretty bizarre Christmas but it definitely ties into the bizarre narrative of my life. I feel vaguely fried but fine, kinda lonely, I'm glad I didn't go home though, I definitely felt that I was with my family at the drag show last night.

This place is really crazy and at points I feel like it's really more of a place you visit than a place you live, but I do feel very at home here. I feel like wherever you are is where you're supposed to be, I guess. The universe doesn't really fuck up. I trust you, girl.

Gregory's Bedtime Stories boudouir birthday party, so fun. So much look! I love LA.

My drag bro. Missing him always!

That's the vampire! Did I tell you guys about that? I am so crazy with guys sometimes. Ok all the time. He was visiting from London and Bunny told him to come to my club. We had corresponded a bit but I couldn't tell by his pictures if he was hot or not, he looked super twinky for some reason, so I was just kind of ok, whatever, but he walked into the club and I died. Like. Literally, the hottest guy I have ever seen, tall, broad, burly with all this white face make-up and a really refined look. My own Edward Cullen but chicer and with better fashion. By the time we had made out in the back of the club (I went to redo my lip afterwards and turned and he was powdering his face - SO HOT) I had already constructed our entire relationship and was planning my move to London. We spent 3 hours in my bed kissing and talking about our food allergies (SO HOT) but then he got weird and wouldn't fuck and left! I was totally wasted and kind of crushed and didn't go to his Soledad Miranda film night (well he didn't technically invite me, ok, I was being a total idiot girl about it, but also I was doing laundry that night) and we didn't talk again til right before he left, I told him that I was going to do voodoo with his vaseline chapstick pot that he left here, instead I just put it in my little shrine area (one of many in this house) as some sort of hot vampire magnet. I felt kind of rejected but turns out he was straight and he'd just never been with a guy before! Um, I just assumed that because of the make-up and the accent he was gay, so rude of me. I feel kind of stupid. It also just makes him hotter. Damn. Til we meet again, my Dark Prince...

Been going hard on this Final Fantasy orchestral tip. I just like it, whatever. ;P I'm just tryna have some fun, ya'll. Love you guys.

1 comment:

  1. wtf ? bunny is so ugly and is so twinky, come on ??????? its a good thing u didnt fuck, and i've read somewhere u had dozen of guys, maybe next time try to say ''use a condom'', unless you do pr for aids or so