Funniest two freaks in Kansas City

"Pissin' In A River"

Sue got her finger wrapped up in a rope on the boat and dislocated and my freaky sister popped it back into place.

I've been sitting on these for a second because I really thought I was going to write some grand treatise on why 10 days with my family was such a psychic nightmare but I really can't even figure it out now. I mean, what do you say to normal people? When I'm getting paid, when I'm out at a bar or on the train or whatever I'm so down, I love everyone, I'm hell of zen almost to the point of being a weird gay bindi-wearing doormat who will let any freak spit in my face and smile at them and say I love them. But somehow I can't even say that to my own mother without feeling like a big phony.

I mean they are fucking CRAZY, obviously, but not in the way that I am, like, reveling in my weirdness in a weird city with a bunch of weird friends like a pig in shit. I don't know, normal people just trip, gay, straight, whatever, and I ain't normal, and it just sucks to hang out with people who have heaped all of these expectations on you because you happen to share some genes. I mean shit, I share almost as many genes with a chimpanzee as I do my preppy sister...And honestly I guess I just expect more out of a human being. But I'm also a drunk fucking maniac so I'm sure I wasn't especially delightful to be trapped in a cabin in the woods with either. There were some fun parts. Hella free dinners. You know I order EVERYTHING when someone else is paying. Blacked out during Apples to Apples. Got sat down by a family friend and my parents and was forced to detail for them every single reason I resent my parents (UM, SO MANY REASONS, HELLO)...nobody cried, which was suprising. This shit really fucked me up though. I've swung into this weird 3rd puberty, hella hormones, I've got hairs coming in on my chest and a lot of my pants don't fit anymore and I'm horny as fuck. I think it's like some weird regression, I turned into a teenager from being around my folks so much and my body got confused. Whatever. Next year it's gonna be 5 instead of 10 days if I go at all and I will try my best to not spell out my theory of gay vs straight evolutionary apocalypse at every dinner after I try to keep up with my mom and drink 4 cocktails by 6 pm. My mom looks great though. So does my sister. And my cousins and aunts and uncles in Wisconsin are rad. The lake was pretty. SO fucking glad to be home.

Back to reality - jacked off on this dude's face post-Dore Alley

High Fantasy publicity shots! Peep my weird flat top...

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