9.16.2011



























I dreamt last night that I was a cop named Carlos. I wasn't sure if my memories of my past were a backstory that I'd had to memorize and believe was mine or if they were actually my memories and I was just too big of a drunk to know anymore. I was walking around the station with my superior and there was a really heavy threat of something on the horizon, lots of cops and government agents and people from DuPont checking for chemical contaminants, and I started to get nervous because I couldn't remember my police training, how could they hire such an under qualified person to be a cop? But I actually was very capable.

My partner was a little nuts. She had us break into a hayloft that she had known as a child, to spy on a little kid who was sitting in the barn reading in an arm chair. She was asking me about my past, and that's how I discovered how little I could discern from reality, though I thought I had a brother who had been hit by a train. That's when my brother showed up and started shooting at us when we flashed our badges. A few possibilities flashed in front of me then. In one scenario my partner snaps and riddles my brother with bullets and then unable to stop herself guns down the little kid, too. I woke up. Phew. I drink too much.

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