11.27.2011




There's a regular at my day job we call the Bachelor. For years he came in every Sunday with a new girl, without fail. Not, like, oh this guy has a lot of friends, like, he was taking a completely new girl out to breakfast literally every Sunday. He comes in late and always wants to sit in a booth. He orders for his female companion and then for himself, always the same thing: chicken, avocado and jack omlette, add smoked salmon, wheat toast, black beans with a small side of yogurt instead of sour cream. They usually have dessert. We tried to do the math one day about how many women he must have taken here (I'm not going to speculate on what else they do, all I know is he takes em to brunch on Sunday afternoons) and it's staggering. A new girl every week for years. That's a lot of fucking girls.

And then She came in. And didn't leave. For two years. SHE was tall, glamorous, kind of hood but very polished and refined, perfectly coifed hair, immaculate nails and the whole room smelled like her sweet perfume. Her voice was slightly scratchy but she was always polite. He would order for her and she would smile and nod when he got it right, and they'd allllways get a plate of pancakes or crepes for dessert, keep em warm until after the meal, and eat every bite. He is always super polite and a great tipper, but none of us were ever in love with him, but HER...she had me in her thrall. She had the hardest, bitchiest waitresses in her thrall. We all wanted to be her. Her skinny jeans, her wedges, the way she would file his nails at the table as if this 6'4'' 40-something muscle man was her child or something. She was just so fucking cool.

I wish I knew where she was. A few months ago he brought in a new girl. The bitchiest, hardest waitress ran into the back, gagging. She didn't even say anything, just pointed me to the booth room to see. A new girl. I could have cried. I may have, I don't really remember. It was 3 months of a new girl every week and now there's a new regular. She's sweet. Young, pretty, hood but poised, refined, cute style, but she never wants pancakes for dessert.

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