Why aren't bathrooms more fun? We all walk in there to piss and shit but act like we're like artisan matrons there to paint faberge eggs or something. So prim and prude. I have respect for the man who can walk up to the urinal and rip a crazy fart without being embarrassed about it. I feel like bathrooms could really be a primal place for people to connect. Everybody should ditch their clothes upon entry. Put a bunch of holes in a circle and we'll all stand around them shitting and pissing and jacking off and whatever else but looking across the circle at everyone else during. I would probably be one of the only ones to be jacking off but you know what I mean. We spend a lot of time categorizing our differences as people and almost none at all finding similarities. Well here's a giant inter-species similarity for you: we all fucking shit. And it stinks. If I wanna act all cute I'll go to the powder room, you know? I thought of this at the airport.

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