7.10.2012




























This guy I'm really into read me about being like too available, texting too much, etc, I tried to play it cool like, whatever, I'm not sweating it, and he's all, "Yes you are."

Ok motherfucker let me tell you what I am actually SWEATING. I'm SWEATING the fact that one night on psychedelics I realized that I am god Buddha Christ Anackire etc and so is everyone else and there is absolutely no going back from that, I leapt off the cliff headfirst and I'm falling and there's no bottom in sight. I'm sweating the fact that the love I thought would complete my life came and went like a tsunami, leaving a really beautiful wreck but a wreck nonetheless, and now what? What do I want? I want more disasters like that apparently. I'm sweating the fact that at some point I'll either be consumed by my depression or the alcohol that I use to keep my depression at bay or both and that the only thing that makes anything better is music and that's not even mine it's everyones and everyone has felt this and figured these things out and been god and nothing is special or new or even old it's just there and I'm just a tiny little quivering bud on the world tree channeling what tiny dew drop of creativity managed to ooze into my pores and I have no idea when it'll dry out and I'm just trying to hold it all together and maybe make people feel good in the mean time and hopefully myself a few times too. I'm sweating the fact that I want to die and also live forever. That's what I'm fucking sweating!

Love, Christ the Redeemer, the Lion of Judah, Rolling Thunder, Lady of Snakes, Blue Lake Woman, The Whisperer, ETC

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