9.22.2012

Over the past maybe year or so I developed these two brown teeth. It was super weird because it happened so gradually that suddenly I looked one day and I had two brown teeth, like seriously brown.  Of course I brush my teeth and even floss almost every day and use good mouthwash but they were just not brushing off or coming off with my finger. I put it off forever just as sort of this, like, woah, you're getting older, and you live a rough life, even with all your vitamins and healthy food and yoga, you still are pretty intense on your body, and I have a history of bad teeth, my mom's are pretty fucked, but personally I've never had a cavity. I had braces and then didn't wear my retainer after I moved out of my parent's house, duh, and so the bottom teeth got crooked, just like my moms, and these two brown teeth happen to be the ones that are set back jaggedly from the others.

So I finally this week bought those scraper things, which I used to have for a second when I lived in Oakland and was really into it, and went at the brown teeth, and I managed to scrape off mostly all of the brown, and of course I tasted and smelled what it was and it was totally just marijuana smoke! Now, I really didn't smoke a lot of pot until maybe last year, a lot of it being backstage at the Hot Boxxx Girls, where we would just get soooo fucking blazed, so I kind of fondly started to think of this weird brown pot smoke stain on my teeth as Hot Boxxx Girls stain, so that was cute, but now it's gone, but I quit drinking, which if you know me is really intense, anyone who knows me knows I've had a really intense love affair with alcohol for the past 7 almost 8 years, and something in me just snapped and I just have to do it, because I think it is exacerbating my depression. I've got enough people including myself on suicide watch to ever do anything to myself, drunk or no, but I'm sick of feeling like I want to, and isn't guzzling poison just slow suicide anyway? So I'm sober 7 days and it feels amazing honestly, but I've been smoking pot, which may be cheating, but the problem for me isn't getting fucked up, it's being depressed, and I don't think pot is going to depress me, but it might turn my teeth brown.

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